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Cupcake and Jellybean
Exercises in Narcissistic IM Conversationing
lilaeden
ccake_jellybean
lilaeden
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1253102568 
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lilaeden

The Infecto Chronicles - Part V (The Vampiric conclusion.)
February 22, 2007

LilaEden4:        are you still taking motrin for the finger?

aniketos14:       Yeah, it should help with the achy head.

aniketos14:       But I think my headache came from the sun, too!

LilaEden4:        maybe that's the "aversion to sun" business

aniketos14:       Only made worse by this stupid antibiotic and it's sunlight aversion effect.

LilaEden4:        maybe you'll develop an aversion to garlic and crucifixes next!

LilaEden4:        we need to get some holy water from the monks and do some experiments

aniketos14:       And experience a strange craving for the blood of innocents.

aniketos14:       I think you're right.

LilaEden4:        i mean, is there any proof that antibiotics don't cause vampirism?

LilaEden4:        i think not

aniketos14:       Would you still be my friend if I became a vampire?

LilaEden4:        are you kidding?!

LilaEden4:        I’d only love you more!

aniketos14:       Oh, yay!

LilaEden4:        i guess i could be your bug eating minion

aniketos14:       Don't worry, I wouldn't be a lame vampire.

aniketos14:       Bug-eating?!

LilaEden4:        but i don't like bugs..

LilaEden4:        yeah, you know, in all the dracula movies

LilaEden4:        the nerdy minion eats a bug, a cricket or something

aniketos14:       Oh, yeah, Renfield.

aniketos14:       Yeah, you can protect me during the day!

LilaEden4:        at least i could keep my glasses on

LilaEden4:        i would protect you

aniketos14:       And I would... do some reciprocal favor for you.

LilaEden4:        typically it's making me immortal

LilaEden4:        but im not sure i want that

aniketos14:       How could I do that without turning you into a vampire?

LilaEden4:        well that's what i meant

LilaEden4:        you know, i guess i would want you to make me one so i wouldn’t be lonely


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arktikos
ccake_jellybean
arktikos
aniketos14: Plus, pandas are endangered, and I might hit one with a firework.
aniketos14: Which would be sad.
LilaEden4: except not for the panda, who's probably been praying for death from day one
aniketos14: They are the most depressed creatures ever.
aniketos14: I sort of like them for their morbidity.
LilaEden4: hehe
LilaEden4: and yet they are cuddly
LilaEden4: just reluctantly
aniketos14: Yeah. They sort of sigh and resign themselves to it.
LilaEden4: let's get one
LilaEden4: if that lady can have a coyote, i can have a panda
LilaEden4: named willy wijacks
aniketos14: I think they smell bad and are vaguely ferocious at times.
LilaEden4: oh im so scared
aniketos14: And they eat one kind of food which we do not have.
LilaEden4: ill make it wear gloves
LilaEden4: ill get a tree!
LilaEden4: geez*
LilaEden4: or some bamboo supplements
aniketos14: Yeah, but... that's all they eat.
aniketos14: That's why they're so pathetic.
aniketos14: It would starve.
LilaEden4: no way
LilaEden4: ill give it an iv of nutrients!
LilaEden4: and lots of hugs
LilaEden4: i want to write a celebrity benefit song called "hugs will keep us alive"
LilaEden4: brothers and sisters all across the world, we are all her the children, the world is our mother..
aniketos14: I would leave you and never speak to you again were you to write such a ballad.
LilaEden4: we must hug everyone
aniketos14: LOL
LilaEden4: and all the bebeh animals
aniketos14: LOL!
aniketos14: You just made me spit water all over myself.
LilaEden4: hug pandas now.. dun dun dun *guitar chords* hug panda NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
LilaEden4: celine dion would do that last part
LilaEden4: haha my face is so red from laughing
LilaEden4: oh oh oh yeah ohhhhhh yeah la la la.. hugssssssssssss
aniketos14: Oh. My. God.
aniketos14: I can't even... I don't even know how to respond to this.
LilaEden4: what do you mean?
LilaEden4: i think it's a hit
aniketos14: I'm laughing insanely and I think anyone else who heard this would, too.
LilaEden4: you know what those iraqi insurgents really need? hugs.
aniketos14: My God, I love you.
LilaEden4: it's even better when i sing it :-)
LilaEden4: LOL
LilaEden4: oh it really is quite amusing
aniketos14: Record it! lol
LilaEden4: celine dion, fergie, sting, akon, the backstreet boys and... good charlottle
LilaEden4: that's who we need
aniketos14: I can hear you singing in my head and it haunts me.
aniketos14: BWA HA HA HA!
aniketos14: Holy GODS!
LilaEden4: and a boys choir!
LilaEden4: no no scratch that
aniketos14: You've got the recipe for smash hit right there!
LilaEden4: baptist church choir
LilaEden4: and beyonce!
LilaEden4: add beyonce
aniketos14: LOL
aniketos14: You are seriously amazing.
LilaEden4: why aren't i in hollywood producing hits, i ask
aniketos14: I don't know, because you could make a fortune.
aniketos14: This may be one of the best ideas you've ever had.
aniketos14: And that's saying something.
LilaEden4: and why aren't there celebrity benefit songs anymore? :-(
LilaEden4: ha! thanks, cupcake
LilaEden4: im proud
LilaEden4: i can't deny, however, that i am an idea factory
LilaEden4: i practically shit gold nuggets of potential
aniketos14: It's true.
aniketos14: You could be a natural resource.
LilaEden4: oh if only
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lilaeden
ccake_jellybean
lilaeden
The INFECTO Chronicles - Part IV

aniketos14:
Huh, I thought it was on until 10, for some reason.
LilaEden4:
well it's not
aniketos14:
Yes, I see that, stupid. lol
LilaEden4:
i’m not the one who thought it was on till 10
aniketos14:
Shut up! You can't make fun of me, I'm infected!
LilaEden4:
well i just like to kick you when you're down
aniketos14:
You meanie.
aniketos14:
But I'm a sucker for abuse.
LilaEden4:
im watching mean girls
LilaEden4:
so apparently, so am i
aniketos14:
You know it.
aniketos14:
I bet you have a secret fansite for Lindsay Lohan.
LilaEden4:
ha
LilaEden4:
LilaEden4:
punk
aniketos14:
Mikey's freakin' out again.
LilaEden4:
maybe he noticed your infected finger
aniketos14:
Oh, that must be it.
LilaEden4:
ya
LilaEden4:
i bet he could sense the infection!
LilaEden4:
and has been trying to warn you!
aniketos14:
Oh, my God.
aniketos14:
I think you're right.
LilaEden4:
like dogs who can tell when their owners are about to have a seizure
aniketos14:
I need to pay more attention to him!
LilaEden4:
he's a psychic fish!
aniketos14:
Yes!
aniketos14:
I could take him on a show or something.
LilaEden4:
sure you could
aniketos14:
CONCERT!
LilaEden4:
we can't take mikey to the concert
aniketos14:
But then we could show Mikey to Mikey.
LilaEden4:
it would be hard to introduce them over the noise
LilaEden4:
and you'd be weird infected girl with a fish
aniketos14:
HA! They'd remember me, though.
LilaEden4:
so maybe it's not a good idea
LilaEden4:
in fact, im gonna go ahead and forbid it
aniketos14:
Who gave you power of forbidding, I'm-not-afraid-to-pee-my-pants girl?
LilaEden4:
mikey is half-mine
LilaEden4:
so if you insist on bringing him, we'll solomon him down the middle and you can take your half to the concert, weird infected fish corpse girl
aniketos14:
Damnit, you're a tough one.
aniketos14:
But that still makes me cooler than peed her pants girl.
LilaEden4:
no one has to know if i pee my pants
LilaEden4:
waving a dead fish is more noticable
aniketos14:
With an infected finger, let's not forget.
aniketos14:
And peeing one's pants IS noticeable.
LilaEden4:
no way
LilaEden4:
not if i wear a poise pad or something
LilaEden4:
and you better not draw attn to it or ill squeeze the finger
aniketos14:
LOL
aniketos14:
Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!! Don't squeeze it!
LilaEden4:
lol
LilaEden4:
i could never
aniketos14:
Okay, because I would scream.
aniketos14:
And then beat you down.
LilaEden4:
well i'll watch myself then

aniketos14:
Goddamnit, my finger huuuuuurts.
LilaEden4:
im so sorry!
LilaEden4:
i wish i had those bacon band-aids!!
LilaEden4:
damn!
aniketos14:
Oh, those were so cool.
LilaEden4:
i should’ve bought them, then...now i've failed you by not anticipating that you would need them
LilaEden4:
for your finger boo-boo
aniketos14:
It's true. You have failed me for the last time, van Dusen.
LilaEden4:
is that a threat, infecto?
aniketos14:
*Sigh...* No, not really.

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lilaeden
ccake_jellybean
lilaeden
The Infecto Chronicles - Part III
February 20, 2007

LilaEden4:
i am out of delicious beverages
LilaEden4:
what will i eat my calzone with?
LilaEden4:
WATER?!?
aniketos14:
That's what I do.
aniketos14:
You could always get a soda.
LilaEden4:
but it's not in a bottttttttttlllllle..
aniketos14:
Oh, cry me a river.
aniketos14:
I've got a finger infection, damnit, and you don't see me whining like a baby!
LilaEden4:
oh, blow me, infecto
aniketos14:
That's my superhero name, you know.
aniketos14:
Infecto.
LilaEden4:
heh
LilaEden4:
what's your superpower? letting blood born pathogens invade you?
aniketos14:
Spreading disease, of course!
LilaEden4:
that sounds more like a supervillian name then
LilaEden4:
or you have a really fucked up idea of how to rescue
LilaEden4:
lol
aniketos14:
Heh... I've always liked supervillains better, anyway.
aniketos14:
Oh, FUCK, it hurts!
LilaEden4:
I'm sorry, infecto
aniketos14:
It's my cross to bear, I guess.
aniketos14:
After all, no powers without it.
LilaEden4:
lol
LilaEden4:
powers
LilaEden4:
i think the antibiotics have gone to your head
aniketos14:
Well, they are making me feel kind of weird...
LilaEden4:
o no
LilaEden4:
don't die on me now cupcake!

LilaEden4:
i can't believe i care what happens to these people
LilaEden4:
this is sick
aniketos14:
Huh. I don't care a bit.
aniketos14:
I wonder why you can't disengage.
LilaEden4:
what are you, my shrink now?
LilaEden4:
shut it and watch the show, infecto.
aniketos14:
lol Yes! Call me Infecto all the time! Like, crazy lots!
LilaEden4:
it will be even funnier after the infection is gone
LilaEden4:
i feel like making your infected finger picture my wallpaper
LilaEden4:
is that unhealthy?
aniketos14:
No! DO IT.
LilaEden4:
your finger doesn't look nearly infected enough on camera
aniketos14:
I'm sorry, next time I'll go for gangrene.
LilaEden4:
if only i knew photoshop, i'd add some pus

 
 

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lilaeden
ccake_jellybean
lilaeden

The INFECTO Chronicles - Part II
February 18, 2007 - February 19, 2007

LilaEden4:
im watching the simple life
aniketos14:
I hate you.
LilaEden4:
it's the last episode of the 1st season and all these small town people really like them
LilaEden4:
even after all the shit they pulled
LilaEden4:
it's just kind of sweet
aniketos14:
No, it's the fact that this country is ridiculously enamoured of celebrities who have no reason to be famous.
LilaEden4:
it isn't just this country
LilaEden4:
i mean, it was once but then the sickness spread all over with wal-mart and american cinema
aniketos14:
The infection is spreading!
aniketos14:
Like me!
LilaEden4:
yup, just like you, you diseased freak
aniketos14:
lol
aniketos14:
I can't deny it.
LilaEden4:
i think you should use this infection business to your advantage
LilaEden4:
drop it into conversation
LilaEden4:
people will be afraid of you
aniketos14:
I know it!
aniketos14:
There's no tactful way to bring it up, so I'll just be like, "I'm infected!"
aniketos14:
I won't tell them with what.
LilaEden4:
yeah
LilaEden4:
i'm jealous
aniketos14:
You know it.

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lilaeden
ccake_jellybean
lilaeden

The INFECTO Chronicles - Part I
Sunday, February 18, 2007

LilaEden4:
a deadly blood infection should be good for at least a day off from class
aniketos14:
I'm infected!
LilaEden4:
life just isn't fair
aniketos14:
It's hardly deadly.
aniketos14:
But I agree.
aniketos14:
It hurts real bad to type. :-)
LilaEden4:
aww
LilaEden4:
my poor under the weather infected cupcake..
aniketos14:
PLUS, the medication said I might develop severe aversion to sunlight.
LilaEden4:
o yeah, you should be careful
aniketos14:
It actually recommended that I avoid it altogether!
LilaEden4:
you might get nauseous
aniketos14:
I think I'll be okay.
LilaEden4:
and vomit in the parking lot
LilaEden4:
that wouldn't be cool
aniketos14:
But I am indeed an infected cupcake.
LilaEden4:
yum
aniketos14:
Like Dwight.
LilaEden4:
oh, speaking of dwight!
LilaEden4:
guess who's hosting snl this saturday?
aniketos14:
Dwight?
LilaEden4:
dwight
LilaEden4:
at least we know your brain is still in tiptop shape
aniketos14:
Oh yeah, because that was a tough one. lol
LilaEden4:
it was, but you figured it out
aniketos14:
I want to chew my finger off!
LilaEden4:
that's probably not a good idea
LilaEden4:
you'll get infection all over the place!
aniketos14:
Probably not.
aniketos14:
Oh, you're right!
aniketos14:
In my tongue!
LilaEden4:
you'll infect your whole pod
aniketos14:
Hey, maybe that's not a bad idea...
LilaEden4:
maybe you can prick your finger and casually suggest to your podmates that they each suck on it a little
aniketos14:
"It's delicious, trust me!"
aniketos14:
"Pus and bacteria cocktail!"
LilaEden4:
no stupid, just pretend it's some bonding ritual
LilaEden4:
no need to highlight the biohazard
aniketos14:
Yeah, not very subtle.
aniketos14:
You're the sneaky-clever one.

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arktikos
ccake_jellybean
arktikos
aniketos14: I just hope it's not season 1 rehashed.
LilaEden4: prison break: panama
aniketos14: Yeah... I think it will be that for at least a while, but I want answers, damnit!
LilaEden4: me too!
aniketos14: Maybe after that we'll have Prison Break: Siberia.
aniketos14: God, you don't even know the half of it! lol
LilaEden4: you're so cute with this tv obsession
LilaEden4: at least my guilty pleasure has a satisfying conclusion every week
LilaEden4: and girls crying
LilaEden4: you can't go wrong
aniketos14: A girl cried in this one...
aniketos14: But yeah, maybe I should stick to things with, you know, logic and ends.
LilaEden4: and if there isn't logic in fashion, i don't know where it is
LilaEden4: lol
aniketos14: lol
aniketos14: Yeah, that's true.
aniketos14: Maybe then I should just stick to things with ends. :-)
aniketos14: I'm hungry. :-(
LilaEden4: me too
LilaEden4: but i can't eat with the tongue cut of death
LilaEden4: hey did you ever get that picture?
aniketos14: That's so sad!
aniketos14: YES!
aniketos14: Hooray for sepia!
LilaEden4: and cartoon-y feature
LilaEden4: looks just like the graphic novel to me :-)
aniketos14: Yes. We should just write our own.
LilaEden4: about what?
aniketos14: Vikings!
aniketos14: Obviously.
LilaEden4: a brave viking named homobonus
LilaEden4: who must battle an evil rival viking,
LilaEden4: homophobus
aniketos14: OH. MY. GOD.
aniketos14: You are my favorite person in the entire world.
LilaEden4: lol
LilaEden4: it's good to be good for something
aniketos14: That is so funny I can't even lol it.
aniketos14: It surpasses the parameters of simple lol-funny.
LilaEden4: i know it
LilaEden4: they need to erect something in my honor
LilaEden4: HA! erect..
LilaEden4: that sort of goes with the theme no?
aniketos14: You bet it does.
aniketos14: I don't even think I could show that to anyone it's so valuable.
aniketos14: Would anyone get its genius?
LilaEden4: im not sure
LilaEden4: it's hard to explain the whole complicated saint-y backstory
aniketos14: Exactly.
aniketos14: I must save this conversation.
LilaEden4: i save all of them, but they're hard to keep track of
LilaEden4: id never be able to find anything if i needed it
aniketos14: I think I've only ever saved one and that was by accident.
LilaEden4: im just happy we've found a way to make vikings even gayer
aniketos14: I thought it was impossible, but I was wrong.
aniketos14: What with all their gay horny helmets and such.
LilaEden4: ah, vikings
LilaEden4: i love history
aniketos14: Me, too.
aniketos14: If we and/or Frank Miller are telling it.

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lilaeden
ccake_jellybean
lilaeden

April 21, 2007

 

LilaEden4: on qvc they are selling some sort of fabulous ware

LilaEden4: called "the sak"

aniketos14: Woah. That sounds dirty! 

LilaEden4: oh god, they keep saying sack

LilaEden4: im losing it!

aniketos14: I don't blame you.

LilaEden4: Gloria from PA was like, "yeah this was my first sak, i love it"

LilaEden4: "the sak makes it so easy..."

aniketos14: Oh. My. God. 

LilaEden4: you can wipe the sak with a damp cloth!

LilaEden4: oh god.

aniketos14: You feel good carrying the sak around. 

LilaEden4: “it's going to pop out when you get to your destination and look brand new!”

LilaEden4: LOL it's too much

LilaEden4: who named this company?

aniketos14: IT IS! IT'S TOO MUCH!

aniketos14: Oooh, seventh aniversary of the sak. 

LilaEden4: the 7th anniversary of the sak! oh boy!

aniketos14: Look at her caress that sak. 

LilaEden4: you’ll feel really good about the sak!

aniketos14: Let's get inside it! 

aniketos14: Pull it from both ends. 

LilaEden4: yes! let's explore the sak

aniketos14: Mmm, multi-colored sak. 

LilaEden4: you feel like a lady carrying the sak

LilaEden4: whoa, 9 inches

LilaEden4: heavy duty

aniketos14: I was JUST going to say that. 

LilaEden4: you can never have too many saks!

LilaEden4: hot and fresh!

aniketos14: Those saks will be selling like hotcakes!

LilaEden4: hobo sak!

LilaEden4: oh i like that rainbow one actually

aniketos14: These are hella ugly. 

LilaEden4: but they're quality saks, chloe

aniketos14: Well, yes there is a lot to be said for getting a good sak these days. 

LilaEden4: i can't get enough, frankly

aniketos14: Man, me neither. 

aniketos14: The sak conforms to your body. 

LilaEden4: hell yess

aniketos14: “I have so many saks!” 

LilaEden4: hahaha

LilaEden4: "i think my husband's going to leave me"

aniketos14: Travel, fold 'em, wipe 'em down. 

aniketos14: Babies should not be exposed to saks. 

 

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