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Cupcake and Jellybean
Exercises in Narcissistic IM Conversationing
aniketos14 (4:00:53 PM):I've moved on to cartoons.
LilaEden4 (4:06:06 PM):cause that's not lame
aniketos14 (4:01:59 PM):Um, no. :-)
aniketos14 (4:02:09 PM):Not lame at all.
LilaEden4 (4:10:07 PM):right
LilaEden4 (4:10:15 PM):about as not lame as devil's pond
aniketos14 (4:06:40 PM):Oh, my God! I almost forgot! It's that Kip dude's birthday today!
aniketos14 (4:07:38 PM):I saw it on the IMDB.
LilaEden4 (4:12:31 PM):whoa!
LilaEden4 (4:12:44 PM):you're in love with kip aren't you?
aniketos14 (4:08:19 PM):Weird, huh?
aniketos14 (4:08:34 PM):No. I find him repulsive. lol
LilaEden4 (4:14:14 PM):me: you're in lvoe w/ kip arent you?
chloe: weird, huh?
LilaEden4 (4:14:22 PM):HAHAHA
aniketos14 (4:10:04 PM):Stop it! You're misquoting me!
aniketos14 (4:10:11 PM):That's FORBIDDEN!
LilaEden4 (4:14:37 PM):but i could quote it and it would totally appear that you do love him
LilaEden4 (4:14:44 PM):i would have to edit it
LilaEden4 (4:15:36 PM):wouldnt* remember the titants!
LilaEden4 (4:15:45 PM):that's where i've seen him!!!!
aniketos14 (4:11:46 PM):The Titants, lol.
LilaEden4 (4:16:21 PM):haha! tit-ants!!!!!
LilaEden4 (4:16:22 PM):heh
LilaEden4 (4:16:25 PM):heh heh
aniketos14 (4:12:28 PM):Oh, GOD, you're so MATURE! :-)
LilaEden4 (4:17:06 PM):you thought it was funny to
LilaEden4 (4:17:14 PM):don't make me do it chloe
LilaEden4 (4:17:19 PM):too* AHHHH
aniketos14 (4:13:14 PM):AGGGHHH!!
aniketos14 (4:13:58 PM):What's wrong with you?!
LilaEden4 (4:18:39 PM):shut up
aniketos14 (4:14:22 PM):STOP IT! TAKE THAT DOWN!
LilaEden4 (4:18:47 PM): lilaeden4: you're in love with kip aren't you?
aniketos14: Weird, huh?
LilaEden4 (4:18:53 PM):never!
aniketos14 (4:14:29 PM):ARRRGGGHHH!
LilaEden4 (4:18:59 PM):you had to go and be mean..
aniketos14 (4:14:55 PM):I wasn't being mean, I was simply asking what was wrong with you!
LilaEden4 (4:19:30 PM):oh sure
LilaEden4 (4:19:38 PM):"what's wrong with you?!"
LilaEden4 (4:19:41 PM):not mean at all
LilaEden4 (4:19:41 PM):lol
aniketos14 (4:15:32 PM):lol
LilaEden4 (4:20:36 PM):MUAHAHAHA!
aniketos14 (4:16:45 PM):OH, MY GOD! I'LL KILL YOU!
aniketos14 (4:16:52 PM):And you CAN quote me on that!
aniketos14 (4:17:04 PM):I love our fights. :-)
LilaEden4 (4:22:11 PM):you couldn't kill me if you tried
LilaEden4 (4:22:16 PM):bring it on KIPLOVER!
LilaEden4 (4:23:53 PM):ok in ims to two other people i typed said instead of sad and guess instead of kiss
LilaEden4 (4:24:00 PM):IVE GOT BRAIN CANCER.
LilaEden4 (4:24:08 PM):there's no other explanation
aniketos14 (4:19:57 PM):I'm pretty sure that's got to be it.
LilaEden4 (4:25:06 PM)::-(
aniketos14 (4:21:04 PM):That's what you get for insinuating I have a thing for that freak Kip.
LilaEden4 (4:27:25 PM):i didn't say you had a thing for him, but aniketos14 did
aniketos14 (4:24:38 PM):You want me to come down there and beat you into submission? Cause I will.
LilaEden4 (4:29:10 PM):lol
LilaEden4 (4:29:29 PM):that was me, laughing outloud at the thought of you being able to beat me into anything
LilaEden4 (4:29:31 PM):slut
aniketos14 (4:25:49 PM):I am so signing off.
aniketos14 (4:25:57 PM):Whore.
LilaEden4 (4:30:32 PM):you will not sign off
LilaEden4 (4:30:35 PM):don't you dare!
aniketos14 (4:26:24 PM):Oh, you think I won't. But I will.
LilaEden4 (4:31:28 PM)::-(
aniketos14 (4:27:24 PM):That's right, so you just be nicer to me.
LilaEden4 (4:32:51 PM):no.
LilaEden4 (4:32:58 PM):that away message is staying up
LilaEden4 (4:33:03 PM):and you can suck on it
aniketos14 (4:29:10 PM):Oh, that's it.
aniketos14 signed off at 4:33:45 PM
aniketos14 signed on at 4:37:22 PM
aniketos14 (4:33:14 PM):I hope you learned your lesson. :-)

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10:02 to 10:44 am, this morning:

I don't need no herp to keep me happy.
LilaEden4: herp?
aniketos14: Herp?
LilaEden4: herpes?
LilaEden4: Get a rod of colossal measurements!
aniketos14: Colossal!
aniketos14: That's a bold claim.
LilaEden4: a proverbial colossus of peen
aniketos14: lol
aniketos14: I love the spams so.
LilaEden4: they bring joy to my life, frankly
LilaEden4: Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe sex, I don’t know. With our pills always YES. http://www.pohiname.com/
LilaEden4: Make every girl more happy.
aniketos14: A poem!
aniketos14: Oh, I love the rhymes.
LilaEden4: oh my god, did i show you this: Huge love gun is pleasant to pull out! Make sure about it!
Become a champion in the Olympic games of love!
LilaEden4: !!!
aniketos14: The Olympic games of love!
aniketos14: Oh, my God, topical spams!
LilaEden4: i don't know if it was intentional
aniketos14: Either way, hilarious.
LilaEden4: Never have any more lonely nights with your new huge pecker 
Titties and beavers
aniketos14: It's almost an afterthought. lol
LilaEden4: yeah
LilaEden4: huge pecker would be good enough on its own
aniketos14: But no, they went there.
aniketos14: They included titties and beavers.
LilaEden4: i like that one because it implies that your new pecker is going to be the one keeping you company on the lonely nights
LilaEden4: titties and beavers
aniketos14: I know, it does seem to imply that the huge pecker is a good source of company.
aniketos14: Who knows, maybe it is.
LilaEden4: not as good a source as titties and beavers, im guessing
aniketos14: Honest to God, who even uses the word titties?
LilaEden4: me!
LilaEden4: at least now i do
aniketos14: lol
aniketos14: And you're upset with me for using skullfuck.
LilaEden4: titties is worse than skullfuck?
LilaEden4: what about tittyfuck?
aniketos14: I find it more juvenile.
LilaEden4: i have never considered these deep questions...
LilaEden4: and...if "titty" is the singular of "titties" what is "tit"?
aniketos14: I don't really want to contemplate the act that spawned the word tittyfuck...
LilaEden4: oh! but contemplating skullfuck is fair game??
aniketos14: Somehow I just don't find it as purile.
aniketos14: I guess it's hypocritical...
LilaEden4: White, luscious breasts: Every girl needs a stud with a 9 inch tool to take them hard in bed.
aniketos14: lol!
LilaEden4: Good night.
Your chick loves huge  banana  but the problem is that you have small one.
Do not worry! You have astonishing possibility to solve this problem.
At present  you can enlarge your bell-rope size.
You will be a king of bed surely enough.
With best regards
Addie Mckenna
LilaEden4: my chick does, in fact, love huge banana
aniketos14: Yeah, bananas are required for successful lovin'.
LilaEden4: so i hear
LilaEden4: Ram your chick from behind!
Want to get Good Boner back in your Life?
LilaEden4: i sooooo need good boner back in my life
LilaEden4: the goddamn pope is interrupting martha!!
LilaEden4: bush + the pope actually
aniketos14: Really?
aniketos14: Those bastards.
aniketos14: How dare they interrupt Martha.
LilaEden4: hey, be careful chloe, those are two of the world's most powerful assholes
aniketos14: lol. Assholes.
LilaEden4: they are fucking watching him get out of a limo! how is this newsworthy?
aniketos14: I really don't think it is.
aniketos14: Watching the pope get out of a limo. Thrilling.
LilaEden4: what else is on?
aniketos14: Dora the Explorer. lol
LilaEden4: what happened to yo gabba gabba?
LilaEden4: didn't that used to be 10:30?
aniketos14: No, 11:30.
LilaEden4: @ spring girls put on their boobs and legs, dont miss your chance
spring men power.
aniketos14: LOL
aniketos14: Hm, it's springtime, I better strap on my boobs and legs that I've kept in storage all winter.
LilaEden4: yeah, helpful reminder
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Keep in mind that we are both 21 as opposed to 11.

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LilaEden4 (4:34:32 PM): how much do you think the school would charge me at the end of the year for defacing a desk?
aniketos14 (4:35:16 PM): How defaced is it?
LilaEden4 (4:35:31 PM): like if i decoupaged spam clippings over the entire thing
aniketos14 (4:35:39 PM): LOL
LilaEden4 (4:35:42 PM): lol
LilaEden4 (4:35:48 PM): well, just the work surface
aniketos14 (4:35:50 PM): Probably a lot.
aniketos14 (4:35:59 PM): No, do the inside of the drawers, too!
LilaEden4 (4:36:39 PM): you know how time consuming that would be??
aniketos14 (4:37:05 PM): But it would be awesome! lol
LilaEden4 (4:37:14 PM): it would be beautiful
LilaEden4 (4:37:20 PM): talk about a senior gift
LilaEden4 (4:37:38 PM): on second thought..i should to it to my white shelves and then i can bring them with me
aniketos14 (4:38:18 PM): Yeah!
LilaEden4 (4:38:36 PM): or my mom has this end table i could probably steal to use
aniketos14 (4:38:36 PM): It could be a discussion piece in your hou- oh, wait, you're homeless.
aniketos14 (4:38:42 PM): :-)
LilaEden4 (4:38:44 PM): LOL
aniketos14 (4:39:38 PM): I'm sorry, I know it's worrisome.
LilaEden4 (4:41:00 PM): no, it's awesome
LilaEden4 (4:41:15 PM): plus i still haven't vetoed the skeezy craigslist guys plan
aniketos14 (4:41:33 PM): I've vetoed it for you.
LilaEden4 (4:41:40 PM): heh
LilaEden4 (4:41:41 PM): ok
aniketos14 (4:42:03 PM): I can't believe I have to be the puritanical friend. lol
LilaEden4 (4:42:15 PM): only always
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Sunday, February 11, 2007


carrie underwood won a grammy




Huh. Who is she?


she won american idol once


apparently, that means you get to win a grammy


Oh, I see.


the people who write your songs and pick out your clothes and teach you how to smile and look pretty dont get a grammy


but you enjoy it, carrie


I hate this country.


and by the way, i love your song "jesus, take the wheel"




Sounds fantastic.


oh, it is


the protagonist of the song both figuratively and literally asks jesus to take the wheel


so i assume her car careens off the road and into a tree


at least, i truly truly hope it does


And Jesus is like, "No, I've had a few drinks tonight, better you take it."

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aniketos14: Did they like the cake?
LilaEden4: oh yeah, i gave most of it to the fashion bug girls to get rid of it
LilaEden4: they've got a pregnant chick over there
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aniketos14: Nick Jr has a new show about a Chinese girl.

aniketos14: She has all these animal friends.

LilaEden4: mulan?

aniketos14: And two of them are typical Chinese-y animals, like a tiger and a monkey.

aniketos14: But why is one of them a koala bear? lol

LilaEden4: koala!

aniketos14: Last time I checked, koala's were Australian.

LilaEden4: well, you know

LilaEden4: pangea

aniketos14: Why not give her a panda?

LilaEden4: because it's multicultural!

LilaEden4: god.

LilaEden4: racist.

aniketos14: But the theme is Chinese stuff!

aniketos14: Just like the theme in Dora is Spanish stuff!

aniketos14: I always thought Pangea was a pretty name.

LilaEden4: but what you're saying is you don't think the australians and chinese should mix

LilaEden4: real nice

aniketos14: I'd name my kid Pangea.

aniketos14: That's not what I'm saying!

LilaEden4: lol, that is the hippiest name i've ever heard!

aniketos14: I'm saying I'm surprised, given that the other animals are Chinese, that this one is Australian!

aniketos14: Oh, God, is it really?

LilaEden4: yeah, think it about, it's earthy AND it seems to support a message of we are all brothers and sisters because of our universal origin or something

LilaEden4: haha. chloe is a hippy.

aniketos14: You shut your mouth.

LilaEden4: and a racist hippy at that lol

LilaEden4: hard to find

aniketos14: lol!

aniketos14: I am not racist!

aniketos14: They all have Chinese names, for Christ's sake!

LilaEden4: right i know, you just hate mixing

aniketos14: Why wouldn't I assume they were all Chinese animals!

LilaEden4: because it's 2008?

LilaEden4: because we have modern transportation?

LilaEden4: so the koala hopped on a plane, big deal

aniketos14: Okay, but think about it.

aniketos14: God, I should never have mentioned this... lol

LilaEden4: pangea would be ashamed of her mother if she knew

aniketos14: If you had a kid that was not of Chinese ancestry, would you, in all likelihood, give it a Chinese name?

LilaEden4: yes

aniketos14: Similarly, if I had an animal that was found nowhere in China, would I give it a Chinese name?

LilaEden4: ive always wanted to name a kid Spring Roll

LilaEden4: Spring Roll Van Dusen

aniketos14: LOL

aniketos14: You would not.

aniketos14: I'm not saying I'm offended by the koala, I just found it curious.

LilaEden4: isn't that a great, authentically Chinese name?

aniketos14: Why not name him Kung Pow?

LilaEden4: Moo Goo?

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I haven't told you about my Rachel Ray dream!
does she die in it?!
It was so weird.
I was at my grocery store or something, and I think a mistake had been made and for some reason both Rachel and everyone else thought we were good friends.
what a horrific mistake!
And she had to give me a ride somewhere, and I was sitting in the car thinking, "Well, God, I had better find something nice to say to her."
you did not!
So I ended up saying how often I made this recipe of hers, which I remember very distinctly (chicken quesadillas), and in reality, I was thinking, "I've never eaten chicken queadillas, and she's going to know that," but she didn't.
Then it ended. It was very strange.
I felt pretty dirty.
you should
i feel betrayed, frankly
Well, your own subconscious didn't betray you, so get over it!
how harrowing it must have been for you

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Monday, December 24, 2007 

9:17 pm: all i want for christmas is you, cupcake

9:20 pm: you already have me. ;)

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LilaEden4: whoa, this wave of exhaustion just came over me
aniketos14: Why are you so tired?
LilaEden4: i don't know man!
LilaEden4: all of a sudden
LilaEden4: it's like i've been drugged
LilaEden4: chloe...
LilaEden4: lol
aniketos14: What are you going to do?!
aniketos14: I'm scared for you!
aniketos14: Are you still alive?!
LilaEden4: heh!
LilaEden4: that's really funny for some reason
LilaEden4: but yes
aniketos14: Okay, good.
LilaEden4: unless the aliens got me and i've been body snatched and im an alien imitating me
LilaEden4: how can you know for sure?
aniketos14: Simple, I'd get some of your blood and set it on fire.
aniketos14: If it reacts normally, you're okay.
aniketos14: If it freaks out and tries to fight back, you're not.
aniketos14: Learned this from the Thing.
LilaEden4: what if the alien just takes over my brain?
LilaEden4: like animorphs
aniketos14: Hmm, that might be harder.
LilaEden4: my blood would be the same
aniketos14: Yeah, I don't know.
aniketos14: I guess I could force you to get a brainscan.
LilaEden4: sure, a yeerk would voluntarily submit to a brainscan
LilaEden4: rather than attacking you and taking you to get aliened
LilaEden4: that's how you'd know.. you'd wake up in a cage in some underground alien farm and you'd be like "danielle?!"
LilaEden4: and yeerk me would be like "no, you idiot.”
aniketos14: And I'd be like, "... are you sure?"
LilaEden4: lol
LilaEden4: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeerk
LilaEden4: i love the nerds who author wikipedia
aniketos14: Wow, these people... have some time on their hands, huh.
LilaEden4: i know it
LilaEden4: it's pretty crazy
aniketos14: Also nerdy, however?
aniketos14: Your rant about how a yeerk would never submit to a brainscan. lol
aniketos14: Like, how dare I suggest something so lame.
LilaEden4: if only there was an illustration
LilaEden4: lol
LilaEden4: not just a yeerk
LilaEden4: any brain-living alien, you fool
aniketos14: LOL
aniketos14: Well, if you were a full-body takeover alien, my blood suggestion would still stand.
LilaEden4: oh yeah
LilaEden4: good luck with that
LilaEden4: i dont have much confidence in you rescuing me from an alien takeover
aniketos14: Well, if you refused to give me a blood sample, I could reasonably conclude you were trying to hide something.
aniketos14: Yeah, I don't seem real on top of this. lol
LilaEden4: lol, that sounds awful!
aniketos14: Oh, man, it kinda does now that I look at it...
LilaEden4: LOL
LilaEden4: it also sounds like support for mandatory dna database participation
aniketos14: "Well, if you don't want anyone to see your DNA, clearly you're an alien."
Auto response from LilaEden4: aniketos14: Well, if you refused to give me a blood sample, I could reasonably conclude you were trying to hide something.
aniketos14: LOL
aniketos14: Oh, my God, please forget I ever said that, it was solely in reference to alien parasites. lol
LilaEden4: lol
LilaEden4: i know
aniketos14: Oh, man, though I'd hate for someone to see that out of the admittedly geeky context...
LilaEden4: im sure no one thinks you want to test everyone's dna
LilaEden4: for any reason
LilaEden4: lol
aniketos14: Okay.
LilaEden4: you know what would be sweet?
LilaEden4: no nevermind
aniketos14: What? No, tell me, what?
LilaEden4: noooooo
aniketos14: Please?
LilaEden4: umiwasthinkingwhatifwecouldgeneticallyengineerakittenbycombiningourdnasoitwouldbetheequivalentofavandebloischildinkittenform.
LilaEden4: but only for half a second! i'm not a fan of genetic engineering!
aniketos14: LOL
aniketos14: It'd... it'd be like our kitten kid! LOL!
aniketos14: I love you so much!
LilaEden4: lol
LilaEden4: with our luck it would come out wrong
LilaEden4: and attack villagers and stuff
aniketos14: Oh, yeah, it'd be a little monster, most likely.
aniketos14: What with our fiery DNA.
LilaEden4: hehe
LilaEden4: but i would love it
aniketos14: Me, too!
aniketos14: Let's name it something awesome.
LilaEden4: no
LilaEden4: let's pretend i never mentioned it lol
aniketos14: Oh, all right, be that way.
LilaEden4: thanks
aniketos14: Don't say I never did anything for you. lol
LilaEden4 : never would
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